Saying No to the Selfie: One Year Without Instagram.

Forgive me, but I just can't muster (or mustard) any interest in your weekend meals.

D*n, work colleague from five years ago, ugh your fitness journey and wince your journaling journey, and frankly all of your journeys: Oy. (D*n, put the phone down!).

I looked to ChatGPT for affirmation, “why are selfies cringe-y?” and the response: “It's important to note that not everyone finds selfies embarrassing, and for many, they are a way to express creativity, capture memories, or simply share moments with friends and followers. The perception of selfies varies from person to person and can be influenced by cultural, social, and personal factors.”

And this is why ChatGPT can only successfully churn out Dad jokes and that's about it.

During my years working at PopSockets we never met a mirror we didn’t like- and with the right filter they loved us, too. We were all unabashed selfie queens.

But time marches along. I’ve taken one selfie in the past 15 months and that was when I was working myself through some complicated feels involving a new haircut. Emotional default mode: A selfie will make you feel better.  But, alas, selfies only make you feel worse in the same way that trying on jeans from five years ago does; A mix of vague hope followed by abject sorrow.

Do you remember when social media was fun for regular, everyday people?  A promise-land of bagel sandwiches and moderately enviable activities, somehow segueing to the profile of your boyfriend from 2011’s sister’s boyfriend? A peek in on the lives of your friends and family overlaid with “Nashville” if you were feeling trendy.

But things change.

There were selfies. Then there was Covid. In the midst of these two things Instagram emerged completely different than it started.

Instagram is now for businesses, creators, and regular people who want to quietly learn more about the lives of their favorite 90 Day Fiance protagonists. Algorithms, engagement rates, boosted posts and CTRs, shrinking your body in half via FaceTune- this isn’t for civilians.

I have worked on thousands (legit!) organic and gifting influencer campaigns in the last decade-plus and I do believe good content remains the ultimate way for brands to connect with their audience. When done authentically, in the right hands, products come to life and connect you to a  targeted audience. And this is essential for brands. But personally? Nah. With Instagram I often contemplate, how can one love something so much, while also despising it? For sake of comparison, approach me after a trip to Trader Joe’s. (Note: This punchline originally read "for sake of comparison ask a couple of my ex's" but this is LinkedIn not Instagram. I digress).

In the age of social media and the creator economy, so many influencers have built large followings by sharing aspects of their personal lives; kids snacks, mundane hobbies with a twist, weird gags to trending music. This is how they have amassed a following. These posts create a sense of connection, relatability and entertainment for their audience. But what they’re doing and what we’re doing while sharing have become very different.

So the rest of us… Well, ever heard of a group text to those cousins in New Jersey?

Mostly everything you see on Instagram now is driven by brands and creators. And if you think that’s not the case I invite you to recall the last 20 purchases you have made (ok, maybe 20 is just me, how about 5?). Did any of them originate on social media? Did you research the products and brands there? Paid, gifted, boosted, ads, the majority of it.

So where do normal people fit in?

They don’t. Not when it comes to sharing.  Regular people fuel the creator economy because they are the eyes and the dollars. In the same way you’d read US Weekly, you’d read Instagram. Perhaps you have kept your 2019 Instagram persona as either poster or lurker, but I am certain you feel a certain level of apathy all around.

For me, I’m going on a year and a half with no personal social media. I quietly deleted my Instagram account over a year ago. No big, dramatic farewell to everyone as I have seen others do. One moment I was posting homemade cupcakes and the next, social oblivion. TikTok? Yes. I’ve heard of it, but it is best for those under the age of 15 who can quickly retain dance routines, not individuals who need to reroute those 5 hours gyrating to things like taxes. I hope X succeeds, but that’s just because I have a sprinkling of Tesla stock. Facebook? I think that goes without saying.

Sharing my updates was a fun moment back in the day, like flat ironing my hair or wearing Mom jeans ironically. But for me, that particular moment has passed. Nowadays, my attention is firmly on my work (primarily on Instagram) and my life (completely off Instagram), and this balance is ideal.

I may not be on Instagram, but my work certainly is. After all, on social media, appearances can be deceiving.